Anti-Religious Righteousness

Ordain-O-Matic

Welcome to the Ordain-O-Matic! Now you can be an officially ordained minister with Godswill Ministries!

A Godswill Ministries ordainment is real and allows you to officiate weddings and other meaningless ceremonies! Now you can mock religion on a whole new level, just like Reverend Duncan!

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Latest Ordainments

Welcome Reverend Simpson to the ministry! (2013-05-19)
Welcome Reverend Seibt to the ministry! (2013-05-17)
Welcome Reverend Ballard to the ministry! (2013-05-05)
Welcome Reverend Allbee to the ministry! (2013-04-20)
Welcome Reverend Fernhill to the ministry! (2013-04-15)
Welcome Reverend Leclercq to the ministry! (2013-04-03)
Welcome Reverend Mcclanahan to the ministry! (2013-03-26)
Welcome Reverend Churchill to the ministry! (2013-02-18)
Welcome Reverend Murphy to the ministry! (2013-01-16)
Welcome Reverend Evans to the ministry! (2013-01-13)
Welcome Reverend Crouse to the ministry! (2013-01-03)
Welcome Reverend Prater to the ministry! (2012-12-08)
Welcome Reverend Thomas to the ministry! (2012-12-07)
Welcome Reverend Twardowski to the ministry! (2012-12-07)
Welcome Reverend Mertz to the ministry! (2012-12-07)
Welcome Reverend Carpenter to the ministry! (2012-12-06)
Welcome Reverend Wells to the ministry! (2012-12-05)
Welcome Reverend Corcoran to the ministry! (2012-12-05)
Welcome Reverend Henke to the ministry! (2012-11-30)
Welcome Reverend De La Vega to the ministry! (2012-11-27)

marryingrapist

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Does Deuteronomy say a woman should marry her rapist?

Posted May 25, 2013 by Sister Star

I won’t keep you in suspense; yes, yes it does. When researching an article I stumbled across this page about the verse in Deuteronomy that states a woman should marry her rapist. They try to relate the truth that atheists, skeptics and other Bible attackers have tried to twist. Needless to say, I disagree with [...]

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Weekend at Calvary

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Weekend at Ber…Calvary

Posted May 24, 2013 by Pixelegion

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Atheists are still to going to hell, sorry guys

Posted May 24, 2013 by Sister Star

On the 22nd, an article was posted on the Huffington Post about how the Pope allegedly said that atheists, who do good deeds, can get into heaven. Some people, atheists and believers alike, thought it was a wonderful sentiment and were endeared to the new pope, seeing him as a beacon of change for the [...]

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Intolerance-Button-0998

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Bigotry or religious belief?

Posted May 22, 2013 by Sister Star

Marriage equality is a hot topic at the forefront of conversation. It’s a matter that involves politics, society, and yes, religion. This is mostly due to the fact that more than 2000 years ago some men wrote verses in a holy book that was variously translated and misunderstood in a variety of ways, but [...]

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fiction

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A Look at Atheism in Fiction

Posted May 20, 2013 by Brother Gamutman

everal years ago, I determined to create a fiction series about an atheist private detective. As an atheist, I felt that the world needed a realistic heroic character that had no need of a religious belief system to base his or her good deeds upon. I began writing the series a decade ago, and in that [...]

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science!

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Science Makes Good On Religion’s Lofty Promises

Posted May 18, 2013 by Brother David

For thousands of years, religions have been making promises they can’t fulfill. From the claim that prayer can heal the sick to the promise we can live forever after death, religions offer the world to those filled with wishful thoughts, but provide little more than the occasional inspirational word. Scientific discoveries, however, have begun to [...]

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crocker

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Crocker of Shit

Posted May 17, 2013 by Brother Murphy

As a recovering Catholic, I have been privy to many a sermon. Recently, my ex-girlfriend was a hard core born again “Christian” and if I wanted some hot, naked drunken action on Saturday nights you bet your ass I was right there next to her at the Church of What’s Happenin’ Now on Sunday morning [...]

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Child of God: Amy’s Baking Company

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Child of God: Amy’s Baking Company

Posted May 17, 2013 by Sister Star

By now everyone has probably seen the epic meltdown that happened on the Amy’s Baking Company Facebook page, following a disastrous appearance on Gordon Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares. They’ve tried to do some damage control now, but the jig is up. The dysfunctional couple has proven that they are both unstable and should never have been working in a customer service [...]

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ApostlePaul_Rembrandt-van-Ryn_1657-Wide_1

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Was Paul a Christian?

Posted February 22, 2013 by Sister Raven

The question of whether Paul was a “Christian” or a faithful Israelite follower of Yaweh, is made particularly difficult because of the applicability of those terms to his time, and must be approached using not chronology or even category, but through a careful evaluation of his statements and their implications. In examining Paul’s theology, self [...]

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is god real?

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Is God Real?

Posted April 27, 2013 by Sister Xine

“Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear.” Thomas Jefferson With the story of “The Tree of Knowledge” God proclaims knowledge is against his Divine Will. The religious claim that science and knowledge are evil [...]

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silence

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Atheist FAQ #17

Posted March 16, 2013 by Brother David

Q: By talking about your atheism, aren’t you pushing it on others? Why be vocal about it at all? A: There is nothing wrong with talking about the fact that you are an atheist, and saying, “I’m an atheist” is no more confrontational than the religious identifiers used by believers. For example, in America, we [...]

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wind god

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Atheist FAQ #18

Posted March 23, 2013 by Brother David

Q: God is like the wind…you can’t see it but you know it exists. So why do you believe in wind and not God? A: I don’t believe in gods not because they’re invisible, but because there’s absolutely no evidence of an earthly object or force that points directly to any Supreme Being – or [...]

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meaning-of-life

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Atheist FAQ # 19

Posted March 30, 2013 by Brother David

Q: If you don’t believe in God, what’s the meaning of life? A: In my opinion, the only constant in life – including non-human life – is the innate urge to protect and preserve one’s own bloodline… That being said, as an atheist, I don’t claim to know an over-arching “Meaning of Life.” I do [...]

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Godless Atheists red pill blue pill

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Atheist FAQ #20

Posted April 6, 2013 by Brother David

Q: Why do you do what you do? What is the point of advocating for secularism? A: I believe that we can make a legitimate difference by showing closet non-believers that they’re not alone and by educating the religious about the flaws and negative impacts of the belief systems that they’ve (often unwittingly) dedicated their [...]

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Jesus is the cockrock!

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If God is Love…

Posted April 8, 2013 by Reverend Threefinker the Freethinker

…and inversely, Love is God, how much would Mr. Jehovah Love appreciate if a rock & pop cover-band went “godly” and played all tunes with Love, I mean God, naturally, in the title? The set selection list might look a little something like this: † † † † † † † † † † [...]

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connecting

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Why Aren’t People Putting the Pieces Together?

Posted April 15, 2013 by Sister Star

I was recently visiting my mom and was walking into the living room when I saw an envelope on the dining room table. I was very familiar with this type of envelope as I had seen one every month since I was a child. It was a tithing envelope for the Catholic church that our family had [...]

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Is a New Pope Really going to be a sign of Progress for the Catholic Church?

Posted April 1, 2013 by Sister Star

So by now everyone has heard that the Pope is retiring at the end of the month. There is already a flurry of activity about who will be elected the next Pope. It’s very disheartening to see the excitement about the possibly of a black Pope. Everyone is acting like electing an African man to be Pope [...]

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God’s Laws

Posted March 25, 2013 by Sister Star

Author’s note: This is a work of fiction. I was recently reading an blog post where a preacher was calling for everyone to return to “God’s Laws” instead of living by man’s laws. I started thinking; what would the world be like if we had to live by the laws of the Christian Bible? This [...]

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christian persecution

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Lighten up, Francis

Posted March 13, 2013 by Brother Gamutman

well known cartoon from the website atheistcartoons.com entitled Unholy Trinity features three panels. In the first we see a hooded figure strapped with explosives labeled a “Militant Islamist.” The second panel displays a traditional redneck wielding a smoking gun outside of an abortion clinic, and this is labeled “Militant Christianist.” The final panel shows us [...]

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Atheist Asshole Neo

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Atheists: Dont Be an Asshole (Self-Flagelllation 101)

Posted March 25, 2013 by Brother-Sister Hel

A lot of this website, including what I write, is shit that is brutally fuckin’ raw-doggin’ religion. Which is awesome – sometimes…but we gotta be careful not to turn into assholes. It’s one thing to be kinda a dick about shit sometimes (&/or a pussy sometimes), but nobody likes someone who is constantly being [...]

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Boushra al-Moutawakel

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Atheist Koran Studies: Sura 4 – Women! Can’t Live With ‘em, Can’t Stone ‘em All To Death

Posted April 3, 2013 by Brother-Sister Hel

photo by Boushra al-Moutawakel Typical of Islam, the section of the Koran ostensibly devoted to Women barely contains any, & mostly just puts them down. Yet typically of religious texts, it sends mixed messages, opening with; “reverence the wombs that bore you.” Well, that’s lovely, it seems like Mohammad really had a lot of respect [...]

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A topless jihad

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Topless Jihad: Run! Killer Titties!!!

Posted April 3, 2013 by Brother-Sister Hel

( UNCENSORED! ) Once again, Boobs are threatening to Destroy Society! So Amina Tyler, a Tunisian Femen activist, is said by the Feminist / Shirt-Hating group to be threatened & under some sort of house arrest for taking pictures of her breasts, saying, “Fuck Your Morals” & “My body belongs to me & is not [...]

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atheist antichrist spider

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Misunderstood atheist

Posted April 29, 2013 by Sister Star

As atheists we tend to hear a lot of misunderstandings about our religious views. Here are just a few of the many examples that I have encountered personally: Atheists are angry with god. Atheists worship the devil. Atheists have turned their backs on god because something bad once happened in their lives. Atheists are possessed [...]

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nungasm

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People at the Vatican caught downloading porn, no one is surprised

Posted April 19, 2013 by Sister Star

When I first heard that someone had found a list of torrents used to download porn right from the Holy See I wasn’t even the slightest bit surprised. Porn is so ubiquitous in the modern world, it seems almost a given that people are consuming it. Even people who have dedicated their lives to rejecting it. [...]

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what me islamophobic

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What, Me, Islamophobic?

Posted May 3, 2013 by Brother-Sister Hel

TL;DR: It’s stupid & wrong to be bigoted against all Muslims / Arabs, but it is also wrong to unquestionably follow a religion that can encourage violence… Note: I began writing this before the Boston Bombing, in response to an article giving “The New Atheists” shit for criticizing Islam, calling them “Islamophobic”. “..Your Lord inspired [...]

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care bear stare hard

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Only the Care Bears Can Defeat the Westboro Baptist Church!

Posted April 26, 2013 by Brother-Sister Hel

Ah, the Phelps family cult. America loves to hate ‘em. By calling Soldiers Fags at their funerals in the “name of God”, they have succeeded, at Troll Level Master, in confusing and enraging everyone; “hating the Westboro Baptist Church” is one of the few things that liberals & conservatives, atheists & christians, homosexuals & [...]

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Keeping Purgatory Cool

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Emergency Benediction from His Holiness, Karol Józef Wojtyla

Posted April 25, 2013 by Reverend Threefinker the Freethinker

The providence of Good Sir Jeebus Horatio Kristofferson befell me recently, when I was going through some odds & ends from my past growing up in south-central Louisiana. Cajun-country, as it’s aptly billed, since it was initially settled by the French (via Acadia in Nova Scotia, Canada) and secondarily by the Spanish, is predominantly Roman [...]

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thought-crime

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Biblical Thoughtcrime and Why it’s Bullshit

Posted May 6, 2013 by Sister Star

George Orwell invented a concept in his novel Nineteen Eighty-Four called “Thoughtcrime”. Thoughtcrime, or crimethink, is the idea that merely thinking something can result in punishment. Holding certain views, even without voicing them, is worthy of reprimand. Religion has its own kind of thoughtcrime, and it’s referred to as “sin”. For example, doubting the Holy Spirit is [...]

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REason Rally

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Reason Rally Reminisces

Posted April 25, 2013 by Sister Star

Last year I attended the Reason Rally with thousands of other non-believers. It as a fantastic experience that changed my life. I had so much fun and met some amazing people. During the one year anniversary of the rally I started scrapbooking my rally experiences. Here are my finished pages from that incredible day. What [...]

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Goodfellas cover

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Godfellas

Posted May 2, 2013 by Brother Murphy

Christian allegories are nothing new to the film industry, even if the Jews still run it. From the subtle (Passion of the Christ) to the obvious (The Chronicles of Narnia), Christians, when given the chance, have always put God into a starring role, as well as Jesus and the Holy Spirit, when they can. And [...]

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Atheist Stories 1

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Atheist Stories – Born Heathen

Posted May 4, 2013 by Brother Chuck

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Cover Your Excrement

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Cover Your Excrement!

Posted May 7, 2013 by Pixelegion

Deuteronomy 23:13-14 Each of you must have a spade as part of your equipment. Whenever you relieve yourself, dig a hole with the spade and cover the excrement. The camp must be holy, for the Lord your God moves around in your camp to protect you and to defeat your enemies. He must not see [...]

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10-commandments

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US laws are NOT based on the 10 commandments

Posted May 15, 2013 by Sister Star

Anyone who has been in a country as highly religious as the US for long enough has heard the statement that the Christian Bible is so integral to our legal system that our laws are actually based on the ten commandments. Of course, there’s no truth to this as most of the founding fathers didn’t [...]

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Prayer Requests

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Prayer Requests

Posted May 14, 2013 by Pixelegion

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EDMOND OWUSU { the is one lady i want to marry very soon WHO IS BASED IN CANADA BUT SHE IS A GHANAIAN.but i go to know just... } – May 22, 7:46 AM
Fidem Turbare { Dear myself, Fidem Turbare the non-existent atheist goddess, I do not exist so why am I even contemplating praying to me? } – May 02, 5:21 PM
Zira { Dear Jesus, Why do you insist on remaining loyal to the father who slaughtered you to save the souls of the people he designed poorly?... } – Apr 14, 9:30 PM
Orville Smooms { I'd like to give Madonna a Cleveland Steamer. Not that no-talent, screechy voiced harpy-- I mean the real Madonna, you know, Jebus' mom.... } – Apr 14, 8:56 PM
klara { Dear God, So I finally had my wish and fucked your nemesis the devil. I'm pretty sure you watched since you see everything .... anyway... } – Apr 14, 8:35 PM
DESU { DESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESUDESU } – Apr 14, 8:34 PM
RevTonyC { I was wondering if you could please clarify what you said to me ("the answer is no because bananas don't have pits") in my fortune... } – Feb 27, 10:10 PM
brother murphy { I was raised irish Catholic. A popular prayer was "May you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you're dead". If by... } – Jan 27, 12:13 AM
S.Stern { Well, let's give it a shot. Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray to Castiel to get his feathery ass down here. Amen. } – Jan 24, 11:06 PM
Tyler { Dear Joe Pesci, Thank you for speedily resolving my issue with the DeReligulator! I knew that if George Carlin would pray to you, you must... } – Jan 03, 4:41 PM

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