Can I be your imaginary friend?
Can I be your imaginary friend?
Sisters and Brothers! For those times when “Dear Abby” just ain’t gonna cut it, I give you Sister Mary Motherfucker! She’s tough as nails, she won’t take shit. With her trusty ruler, your knuckles she’ll hit. She loves the lord and she loves altar boys. Judging and punishing are just a few of her joys. [...]
Brothers and Sisters! I take seriously my obligation to the fictional god and his desires for our ministry. One of those desires is that we provide the ultimate safe haven for those needing to escape the absurdity of a world run by religious nitwits. In our continuing efforts to expand the usefulness of GodswillChurch.com we’ve added [...]
Brothers and Sisters! If you have wanted a place to post your magical wishes (prayers) where they are most likely to be received by god, your prayers have been answered! I give you, the Wailing Wall! You can post a prayer for free, or you can make a donation to the church to make [...]
{ Why do I keep seeing strange lights in the sky at night and in the morning. I know YOU didn't make them, so what the... } – Feb 20, 8:59 AM
{ Dear Lord, May you exist, and really be pissed about all the things done in your name, and cast the religious into the darkest pit... } – Feb 19, 3:56 PM
{ Dear God, Please let me win the lotto so I may buy the land behind my house before they build another church on my street. } – Feb 19, 2:16 PM
{ So, does this mean if I don't donate my prayers don't get answered?! Son of a bitch! No wonder Catholoshitsm didn't work for me! If... } – Feb 19, 11:25 AM
{ Dear God, Would you mind sending your daughter next time? Your son, handsome as he was, just doesn't do it for me, you know, down... } – Feb 18, 9:49 PM
{ Oh Lord, please help me get it up. I consumed too much of thine produce of the barley. My cup runneth over, but thy dick... } – Feb 17, 2:42 PM
{ Oh Lord, please reveal your son's secret to six pack abs. Amen. } – Feb 16, 2:24 PM
{ Hey God, it's Job. Remember me? I've been reincarnated. It turns out the Hindus are onto something. Anyways, I found a book called The Bible... } – Feb 12, 10:36 PM { Please lord, give me a sense of peace. I really need it! } – Feb 12, 10:18 PM
{ God, grant me the wisdom to add a photo to my profile on godswillministries.com, the serenity to not backhand fundies, and the power to hump... } – Feb 10, 2:25 PM