This lovely little religious festival is practiced in Japan. According to them, this giant battering ram dong will help their crops when they lug it down the street. It’s called Honen Matsuri, and they do it every spring. It is a tradition associated with the Japanese religion Shinto. It makes me wonder if the guy who made the movie “Attack of the 50ft Woman” witnessed this festival and thought, hmm.. too much for a normal woman.. Terrible movie ensues. If there were a 50ft woman, perhaps this King Dong would actually serve a purpose. Actually, THAT is a festival I might just travel to Japan to see. In reality though, its just a bunch of Japanese guys lugging a huge shwang down the street and it doesn’t do shit for their crops. I know you are anticipating me making a reference to a classic Asian stereotype but alas brothers and sisters, that is why the good fictitious lord gave you your own mind to put these things together. One must admire the sweet, sweet irony though of a gang of Japanese men working together to lug this monstrosity of a dong down the street. There are longer videos that show women walking around with smaller dong statues and little children rubbing them as they pass for good luck I assume. Also a tradition of the Catholics if I do recall correctly.
http://youtu.be/QRuBBej3HEo
About the Author
Brother Bad Chad, as I’m affectionately known amongst the congregation, is a seriously bad mother&^%*er. I aspire to one day take over the throne of the fictitious Satan and assume control of his minions by putting a stomping on his bitch ass and making lamb chops of his goat legs. I will then proceed to unleash hell on earth and take this mother%$#er over!! Until then, as the good Reverend Duncan deemed me the official muscle of Godswill Ministries, I spend my days honing my wit to a razor sharp edge, ready at any given moment to give anyone who threatens the un-sanctity of our un-blessed congregation a mighty text and/or tongue lashing. For the likes of the “butthurt” I doth bring has never been seen since the fictional god himself forged thy mighty Jackhammer Jesus in the fires of hell.
